Chapter 7- Children: My Promise from God I will Always have a Friend

Do I work???  Why yes, I am a Mom!  That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, a doctor, fashion adviser, waitress, teacher, nanny, nurse, handyman, security officer, photographer, counselor, chauffeur, a lifelong student, an event planner, a personal assistant, an ATM, healer and comforter.  I don’t get holidays, sick pay or days off.  I work through the DAY & NIGHT.  I am on call every hour for the rest of my life.  I’ll always need my children no matter what age I am.  My children have made me laugh, made me cry, stressed me out, wiped my tears, hugged me tight, seen me fall, cheered me on, kept me strong, and drove me a little CRAZY at times!

As a mother of 3 very beautiful and busy children, I have worked hard to be the opposite of my parents.  When I gave birth to each one of them I made a lifetime commitment to be their mother forever.  I vowed to guide them, love them, protect them and nurture their spirit.  I know it is not my job as a parent to make sure they are perfect in school or great in sports.  It is my job as parent to teach them how to survive when they go out on their own.  We learn everything from our parents and the surroundings we grow up in.

When we come here, we choose our parents because of the lessons they will teach us.  As a mother I need to show them and teach them how to be in relationships.  They are a mirror to us.  When their behavior is bad you really can’t keep pointing the finger at your child because three are pointing back at you.  Something in their path has caused this behavior and happy children do not act badly.  We also don’t want to face when our children are in trouble.  We cover their mistakes.  We enable their behavior over and over just so we don’t have to admit our own failures.

      ~If you see someone who is struggling to make friends or being bullied because he/she doesn’t have many friends or because they are shy or not as pretty or not dressed in the most “in” clothes — PLEASE step up. Say hi or at least smile at them in the hallway. You never know what that person might be facing outside of school. Your kindness might just make a BIG difference in someone’s life! PS Remember, never judge a book by its cover!

Children learn how to be in relationships based on their parent’s behavior.  If you have good, healthy relationships with your family, lovers, friends and yourself; it is most likely your children will also. If you have a loving and healthy sexual relationship with your partner, your child will also have the same.  Take a long hard look at your child’s behavior.  You can only blame yourself and the environment you have created for them.  They were born innocent and you cannot blame anyone but yourself for the way they behave.  If you want to show them verbal abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, controlling, yelling, fighting, backstabbing, gossiping, lying, and cheating that is probably what they will behave like in relationships also.  They are not taught anything different.  Only what YOU show them.  Your children’s behavior is a mirrored reflection of your parenting and how they are treated.  STOP BLAMING THE CHILDREN!

We all want better lives for our children than we had ourselves.  But the only way that will happen is if you make YOURSELF better.  It is what you show them.  You really need to pay close attention to how you act around your children with how you treat others and yourself.  I think you will see you need to change some things.

After spending my entire life in abusive relationships, I chose to not expose my children to the life I had been living anymore.  I promised them they would never have to live in a home of yelling and violence.  They would only have a home of peace, love and happiness.  I told them until there was a man that could treat me like I deserve, I would be living alone.  At this time, it is going to be 6 years living alone without a man in my home.  Another thing my children don’t see is men in and out of my bedroom.  I keep my relationships at a distance, even when they lived in the same country.

My children feel sad for me at times.  They tell me I should have someone here helping me and loving me.  I reassure them it is okay because we have peace.  They are the most important to me.  I wish them the easiest life possible.  I cannot control what they are exposed to by their fathers.  They chose him for lessons also.  But I can show them a different way in my home.  Eventually, they see through to the truth all on their own.  I do not want my daughters to follow in my footsteps thinking life should be about taking abuse or my son thinking it is right to abuse others.  I want my children to have healthy, loving and intimate relationships.  I have to find that on my own so they will learn what a beautiful relationship is all about.

      ~A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty

I admit I am not the greatest parent on earth.  I do not have any money.  But, I have one thing that is most important to them and that is unconditional love.  Honestly, children don’t care about money.  They just want your love.  Unless, of course, you have trained them to be materialistic like you and hand them money, instead of love.  They definitely weren’t born that way.  Love is free.

I allow my children to be themselves.  I love them each individually for who they are and guide them the best I can through their challenges.  I also know my children’s life lessons are not the same as mine.  I must do my best for them to learn sooner than later.  When problems arise with my children I try my best to handle it with peace and logic.  I hear all sides to the story with an open mind.  I do not point fingers unless I am sure they did it.  I normally walk away from the issue so I have time to calm down and think about it rationally.  Literally, I close my eyes and count to 10.  If I need 10 minutes, 10 hours or a few days, I will take it for myself until I know I am ready to handle the situation with an open mind and integrity.

     ~ A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.

A soft answer turns away wrath.  When everyone around you seems to be in bad spirits, bickering and complaining, take a step back.  It’s so easy to answer the same way back.  Instead, feel into your heart and answer gently.  Let peace radiate from you and create peace within the situation.  I put myself back to my child’s age and remember what I was like.  I remember what I was thinking and feeling at that time.  When I feel I am ready to deal with my child’s mistake I question them.  I say, “Why don’t you respect yourself?”, “How would you feel if someone did that to you?” or “Do you think what you did was right and why?”  I ask them to look at how they are hurting others, hurting themselves and how they would feel if the tables were turned on them.  I make them look inside at the impact of their actions.  I allow them to have a voice and an explanation.  To me, that is the real punishment, having to see how stupid they behaved.

They do not learn anything from “grounding” or “time out”.  I want them to understand and think about what they have done to themselves and others.  I do not feed useless ideas, condemnation, fear, and anger into them.  That is a child who is just learning and growing.  Two wrongs do not make a right.  What’s important is showing them and allowing them to think deeply about what they have done so they hopefully do not repeat the same mistake.  Being too lenient with a child may cause them more harm than good in the long run.  By being firm but fair in your dealings, you will gain not only their love but their respect as well.  My child trusted me as a soul to be their mother.  I am so honored.  But, I must never forget their soul is here to learn also.  My job is to lead as example and guide them the best I can.

      ~There is no trust more sacred than the one the world holds with children. There is no duty more important than ensuring that their rights are respected, that their welfare is protected, that their lives are free from fear and want and that they grow up in peace. ~ Kofi Annan

My children are lucky enough to have a beautiful home in the woods.  I have not had television for over three years.  I do not have time or patience to watch it.  If you ask my children, they will tell you they don’t want it.  When they are in the house they are fighting, wild and negative.  Then I force them out the door into nature, they laugh and love each other.  I make them to go outdoors, use their imaginations and be creative.  I teach them to appreciate every living thing in nature and be grateful for it.

Too many parents are using the television as a babysitter.  Do not get me wrong, I will put a movie in when it is needed for myself to calm them down or when things are really busy.  Our television is full of subliminal crap we stuff down our children’s throats.  It just repeats fear, terror, eat terrible, sue somebody and take a pill for everything.  The less they see, the healthier their minds will be as they grow.  Same goes with their time on the internet.  Pay attention and monitor it.  There is a lot of evil out there ready to corrupt them.  How will you feel if you child gets hurt because you were too busy with YOUR life to pay attention to theirs?

Furthermore, I never speak badly about their fathers.  No matter what bad or stupid things they have done, it is not worth filling my children’s heads with more negative.  Yes, their father says the most horrible things about me all of the time.  Even after 5 years, terrible lies are told to my children about me.  You think a person could move on after all of that time.  My children see and tell me “Dad was lying about you again.”  What’s sad is, he does not get it.  His children think he is a liar.  What he drags my children through because of his choices, inner issues, and behaviors are heartbreaking.  Yet, I never talk bad about him to the children.  I try to say positive things or explain he has a problem he needs to fix.

I also refuse to play the pissed off, revengeful parent game.  I watch so many parents play a tug of war with their children.  Using their children as weapons in a relationship break-up.  These people should really think long and hard about why they are dragging their children through hell.

First of all, what did that child do?  I grew up without my father because of my mother’s choices to keep him away from me.  I know how it feels.  She felt it was the best choice for me.  Yet, it was so damaging and painful because I thought he did not want to be a part of my life.  It was a very big, empty hole of rejection left in my soul.  I truly wish I could have made that decision myself instead of my mother making it for me.  I will never do that to my children, ever.  By separating from the other parent you already made a choice to change their world forever because you cannot make your relationship work.  You tear their life in two, stripping them of their security, family and their home.  Then you want to threaten the other parent with the child/children.

Many parents refuse the other parent to see their child/children.  In my eyes it is just a selfish way to behave.  Your revengeful game is played by using your children.  It is a horrible form of abuse to that child.  Are you proud?  Then we question why the children are such a mess.  They are learning from their parents how to behave.

Some think it is best for the child to keep them away from the other parent and to play these games because we are only thinking of ourselves.  Who are you to decide?  Let the child decide that.  Because you hate the other, does not mean the child does.  You feel pain and claim you love the child/children.  Then pour out your anger and hurt onto them because of your feelings towards another.

One of the reasons children go into such deep depression and addiction during a divorce is because of how you emotionally abuse them and use them to hurt the other. Both parents have EQUAL rights and the child should have a say in his/her life. The ex and I have 50/50 custody and at first I thought it was a terrible idea. Instead, I found it creates a balance in them. They love us both. It is about what is best for them, not your ego or inability to get over it.

Respectfully so, I do know that there are some parents out there that do not deserve to see their children. I am speaking about child abusers and molesters. They SHOULD be kept from their children until they have had extensive help and prove they have changed completely.

Drug addicts and alcoholics have a deep, deep pain they are covering up. They need help to release the pain inside them and once they do this the addiction will also leave them eventually. They will not need the addiction to hide the pain anymore. Do your best to help them. You loved that person long enough to have a child with them. You choose that person to be the father/mother of your child. YOU made that choice, nobody else. Why can’t you like them enough to provide a better life for your child? Only allow supervised visits if they are too bad. Remember we need people who behave badly in your life to teach you how NOT to behave.

Do not take the child away from them. That will only darken their hearts causing them to go deeper into their addiction. We all want what is best for our children. BOTH parents living healthy lives is the best thing possible for them. It is about raising the most incredible children we can. Sometimes we have to swallow our pride to do what is best for our beautiful baby. They are only with you a very short time of their life. Then they are out the door on their own and you do not get a second chance at doing it right. Remember, they learn from your behaviors. They learn how to be a parent from you. You are the most influential parenting teacher they have. What are you teaching them?

Violence Statistics with Children:
Each year 3.3 million children witness domestic violence.
Estimates show 3-5 children in every classroom have witnessed a woman being abused.
Average child witnesses 200,000 acts of violence and 16,000 murders on T.V. by age 18.
Child abuse is the leading #1 cause of death in children under 1 year old.

~”Mommy, I colored your sheets with lipstick!” In anger she started to hit her child until he was unconscious. Then, she regretted what she had done, and crying said to her child, “Please open your eyes!” But it was too late, his tiny heart had stopped beating. When she walked into her bedroom, the sheet said “I LOVE YOU MOMMY.”

Play with your children. Build a fort, paint, color, climb trees, hike, swing, laugh or whatever they want to do. Not only is this a fabulous way to bond with them, but also an amazing way for you to relieve stress and heal yourself. Your inner child needs attention too. Who said you had to grow up? I climb trees and build snow forts when my children are not home. It sets me free inside. Nurture your soul and play with your children. You have fifteen minutes a day in your very busy schedule, shut the television off. Watch the amazing changes in your relationship with them and your own life. Children are the greatest excuse to keep playing. So stop being such a grown up. Who really wants to grow old anyways? Keep your spirit young and have fun.

~It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. ~ Joyce Maynard

Our children are the future of this planet. They are the ones who will inherit our mistakes in every way. The saddest thing I see is humans not educating themselves on their children. A new world of children is being born. We are labeling them with disorders and bad behaviors. Then we drug them up, stopping their souls from doing what they came here to do. We are labeling them with issues when they are just being being children.

However, it is actually the TYPE of children that are coming to earth that makes them so powerful. They are here to perform a mission. You may want to look at your child and do some research. If you are a parent to one of these children, then they have chosen you and you are fully qualified to raise them well. Do not worry. Just try to understand them rather than label them. Start looking at your child as a beautiful child of God. Embrace and love them through their setbacks. They are a precious gift. How are you treating this gift? What did they do to deserve what we are giving them? We need to solve this on a personal and global level. It is time to make the future of our children as wonderful as possible.

~Please protect our children. They are our beautiful blessings from God. They are precious gifts we were given when they were born. Through us they experience everything. They are innocent and always suffer the most. Never judge them, you do not know what God sent them here to do. Be very careful it could be an angel you are destroying because of your choices. ~ Natalie Newman

Please educate yourself before you label and medicate your child because of their behaviors. I have been surrounded by these different types of children. I have studied them and worked with them. It is time to take a long hard look at the children of our future. They are blessings of God and should be treated like angels. We need to stop destroying what they are here to do because we cannot figure out how to control them.

This insert is taken from -namastecafe.com- but there are many more websites and books you can find on this subject. Please do not just take my word for it, do your own research.

How do you know if you, or someone you know, is an Indigo or Crystal Child or Adult?

We will describe the main features and characteristics of these people. But we want to stress that the Indigo/Crystal phenomenon is the next step in our evolution as a human species. We are all, in some way, becoming more like the Indigo and Crystal people. They are here to show us the way, and so the information can be applied more generally to all of us as we make the transition to the next stage of our growth and evolution.

The Indigo Children have been incarnating on the Earth for the last 100 years. The early Indigos were pioneers and way showers. After World War II, a significant number were born, and these are the Indigo adults of today. However, in the 1970s a major wave of Indigos was born, and so we have a whole generation of Indigos who are now in their late twenties and early thirties who are about to take their place as leaders in the world. Indigos continued to be born up to about year 2000, with increasing abilities and degrees of technological and creative sophistication.

The Crystal Children began to appear on the planet from about 2000, although some date them slightly earlier. These are extremely powerful children, whose main purpose is to take us to the next level in our evolution, and reveal to us our inner power and divinity. They function as a group consciousness rather than as individuals, and they live by the” Law of One” or Unity Consciousness. They are a powerful force for love and peace on the planet.

The Indigo and Crystal Adults are composed of two groups. Firstly, there are those who were born as Indigos and are now making the transition to Crystal. This means they undergo a spiritual and physical transformation that awakens their “Christ” or “Crystal” consciousness and links them with the Crystal children as part of the evolutionary wave of change. The second group is those who were born without these qualities, but have acquired or are in the process of acquiring them through their own hard work and the diligent following of a spiritual path. Yes, this means that all of us have the potential to be part of the emerging group of “human angels”.

The following extract describes the difference between Indigo and Crystal Children. It is from Doreen Virtue’s article, Indigo and Crystal Children I found during research that best describes these children.

The first thing most people notice about Crystal Children is their eyes, large, penetrating, and wise beyond their years. Their eyes lock on and hypnotize you, while you realize your soul is being laid bare for the child to see. Perhaps you’ve noticed this special new “breed” of children rapidly populating our planet. They are happy, delightful and forgiving. This generation of new light workers, roughly ages 0 through 7, are like no previous generation. Ideal in many ways, they are the pointers for where humanity is headed … and it’s a good direction.

The older children (approximately age 7 through 25), called “indigo Children”, share some characteristics with the Crystal Children. Both generations are highly sensitive and psychic, and have important life purposes. The main difference is their temperament. Indigos have a warrior spirit, because their collective purpose is to mash down old systems that no longer serve us. They are here to quash government, educational, and legal systems that lack integrity. To accomplish this end, they need tempers and fiery determination.

Those adults who resist change and who value conformity may misunderstand the Indigos. They are often mislabeled with psychiatric diagnoses of Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Sadly, when they are medicated, the Indigos often lose their beautiful sensitivity, spiritual gifts and warrior energy……….In contrast, the Crystal Children are blissful and even-tempered. Sure, they may have tantrums occasionally, but these children are largely forgiving and easy-going. The Crystals are the generation who benefit from the Indigos trailblazing. First, the Indigo Children lead with a machete, cutting down anything that lacks integrity. Then the Crystal Children follow the cleared path, into a safer and more secure world.

The terms “Indigo” and “Crystal” were given to these two generations because they most accurately describe their aura colors and energy patterns. Indigo children have a lot of indigo blue in their auras. This is the colour of the “third eye chakra”, which is the energy center inside the head located between the two eyebrows. This chakra regulates clairvoyance, or the ability to see energy, visions, and spirits. Many of the Indigo children are clairvoyant.

The Crystal Children have opalescent auras, with beautiful multi-colours in pastel hues. This generation also shows a fascination for crystals and rocks……

Indigo Children can sense dishonesty, like a dog can sense fear. Indigos know when they’re being lied to, patronized, or manipulated. And since their collective purpose is to usher us into a new world of integrity, the Indigos inner lie-detectors are integral. As mentioned before, this warrior spirit is threatening to some adults. And the Indigos are unable to conform to dysfunctional situations at home, work, or school. They don’t have the ability to dissociate from their feelings and pretend like everything’s okay …unless they are medicated or sedated.

Crystal Children’s innate spiritual gifts are also misunderstood. Specifically, their telepathic abilities which lead them to talk later in life.

In the new world which the Indigos are ushering in, we will all be much more aware of our intuitive thoughts and feelings. We won’t rely so much upon the spoken or written word. Communication will be faster, more direct, and more honest, because it will be mind to mind. Already, increasing numbers of us are getting in touch with our psychic abilities. Our interest in the paranormal is at an all-time high, accompanied by books, television shows, and movies on the topic.

So, it’s not surprising that the generation following the Indigos are incredibly telepathic. Many of the Crystal Children have delayed speech patterns, and it’s not uncommon for them to wait until they’re 3 or 4 years old to begin speaking. But parents tell me they have no trouble communicating with their silent children. Far from it! The parents engage in mind-to-mind communication with their Crystal Children. And the Crystals use a combination of telepathy, self-fashioned sign language, and sounds (including song) to get their point across.

The trouble comes about when the Crystals are judged by medical and educational personnel as having “abnormal” speaking patterns. It’s no coincidence that as the number of Crystals are born, that the number of diagnoses for autism is at a record high.

It’s true that the Crystal Children are different from other generations. But why do we need to pathologize these differences? If the children are successfully communicating at home and the parents aren’t reporting any problems… then why try to make a problem? The diagnostic criteria for autism is quite clear. It states that the autistic person lives in his or her own world, and is disconnected from other people. The autistic person doesn’t talk because of an indifference to communicating with others.

Crystal Children are quite the opposite. They are among the most connected, communicative, caring and cuddly of any generation. They are also quite philosophical and spiritually gifted. And they display an unprecedented level of kindness and sensitivity to this world. Crystal Children spontaneously hug and care for people in need. An autistic person wouldn’t do that!

In my book “The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children”, I wrote that ADHD should stand for Attention Dialed into a Higher Dimension. This would more accurately describe that generation. In the same vein, Crystal Children don’t warrant a label of autism. They aren’t autistic! They’re AWE-tistic!

These children are worthy of awe, not labels of dysfunction. If anyone is dysfunctional, it’s the systems that aren’t accommodating the continuing evolution of the human species. If we shame the children with labels, or medicate them into submission, we will have undermined a heaven-sent gift. We will crush a civilization before its had time to take roots. Fortunately, there are many positive solutions and alternatives. And the same heaven that sent us the Crystal Children can assist those of us who are advocates for the children.

NEW CHILDREN LABEL APPROX. BIRTH DATES APPROX. AGE

Based on the date of 2011

Indigo Scouts 1940’s – 1950’s – 1960’s 65 – 45 years old-

Indigos (1st wave) 1970’s 35 -25 years old
(2nd wave) 1980’s – late 1990’s  -25 – 8 years old
Crystals- Late 1990’s – now 8 – 0 years old

~Never, never be afraid to do what’s right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society’s punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.”~ Martin Luther King Jr.

~If every 8 yr old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence in one generation.

~ The withholding of a child from a loving and fit parent is child abuse. Being ignored causes the same chemical reaction in the brain as experiencing physical injury. Make time for your children.

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